Courtesy of OneWoman’s sibling, the left-leaning Public Defenderess and MOH:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

Hoo boy! It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? For months now, I have been somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have fallen into the much-written-about catgory of Bloggers Who Got Bored and Left Their Dead Blogs Lying Around Shamelessly Littering the Internet. Horribly embarrassed, to tell the truth…

So, let me catch you up on the last eight months or so - briefly, and to the point:

1. OneSneakyFungus and OneSmartWoman made a joint (and quite momentous and astounding) decision to call an end to our long-distance commuter-type relationship of about three years, and to make it permanent.

2. Following item number one, OneWoman found herself rapidly thrown into planning a wedding. EEEK!! This has involved a) arranging for certain kiwis to travel halfway around the world to witness the festivities, b) purchasing alarming quantities of ebay merchandise under the category ‘wedding apparel‘, and c) scouring the Carribbean for a conch shell blower. Really.

3. Having attempted with limited success to ignore a problem shoulder for the last three years or so, and less than 6 weeks in advance of the so-called Special Daaaaaay, OneWoman presented herself at the local hospital for removal of a nasty bone spur and part of her collarbone. While the results of the surgery are proving to be quite satisfactory, and rehab is progressing well, there is currently great concern about her ability to don the requisite undergarments on the day of. (You just try getting into a strapless bra one-handed!)

So, there you have it. What happens to Bloggers while their Blogs languish unattended: Life.

There’s something about weather here in the Northeast. Maybe it has to do with having lived in the Southwest in my formative years, where the biggest weather excitement I can remember was the day that the airport all but shut down because Boeing had only rated the 737 to fly in temps up to 120 degrees and we actually hit 122. The handful of 747s were good to go because they were rated up to about 125 degrees.

Since moving to this part of the country in 1999, I’ve found myself getting downright wound up over major weather events - they’re so much more dramatic here than anywhere else I’ve lived! And, of course, with really dramatic weather, there’s always the possibility of legitimately calling the boss and telling him that I can’t make it into the office because a) a 100-year-old tree came down at the end of the street, making it impossible to get to the train station; b) the trains aren’t running / are running 3 hours late because of ice on the tracks; or c) the plows have thrown two feet of snow into the apron of my driveway and even my AWD just can’t get me out.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve amassed a comprehensive set of weather-related bookmarks, but this weekend, with a potential ginormous nor’easter coming this way, for the first time I’ve found myself trolling not only the ‘official’ weather sites, but the message boards where the real weather weenies hang out. My goal: a determined attempt to divine whether or not I’m going to be able to legitimately call the boss bright and early tomorrow and apologize profusely for my inability to make it to the office.

I started with the local ABC affiliate’s Weather Chat, but quickly came to the conclusion that there aren’t too many folks (other than the host and resident Weather Guru, Bill Evans) there who know what they’re talking about. Somewhere in there though, I found a link to the Tristate Weather Board - not only frequented by people in the same boat as OneWoman, but both professional and hobby-meteorologists. Not only are its denizens egging each other on in the hopes of a nor’easter of biblical proportions, but there’s some really good discussion of patterns, models, and trends in there.

For a somewhat broader perspective, the Eastern US Weather Forums are full of good stuff. And Foot’s Forecast seems to have a pretty good handle on what we can expect. The comments on his blog are almost as good as some of the message boards for tracking this thing.

Happy shoveling, sledding, and snowball throwing!

I have nothing but admiration for people who come up with these things.

The Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich was brilliant, but I remember seeing an interview with the seller and thinking that she was a little bit out there. But this mystery envelope auction is the hallmark of a pretty clever mind. Hats off to joynersgeneralstore!

I don’t have the time to tackle the Poker Spammer From Hell right now quite as thoroughly as loid suggests here. But he’s certainly put together the most comprehensive analysis of how to hit ‘em where they live that I’ve seen so far.

What I’m finding with the upgrade to 1.5 is that, while comments are being moderated according to the parameters I’ve set, those nasty (really nasty) porn-type trackbacks are still getting through to the site - even where comments are closed. Back to the support forums again…